This week's annoyances - Special Edition "Things that morons say"

1. People who say "If you've got something to say, say it to my face!" Ugh. Essentially all this means is "I don't like it when you say bad things about me when I'm not there so instead of coming up with a clever retort I'll just use this trite line with undertones of aggression."

2. "Kthanxbye" ... the 'omg' of 2007. People who say this probably have a myspace background that causes seizures.

3. People who call up the restaurant while I'm working and ask for bizarre directions. You wouldn't believe the number of people who think that Hostess = Mapquest. Fuck off. No, I don't know how to get to the restaurant from the corner of Highland and Ardmore in Villa Park nor do I have time to ask a fucking manager when I've got 6 parties coming through the door, the other line on hold, and the bitch at the table behind me grabbing me by the wrist to ask "Miss!! Miss!! How much is the salad bar?" when I already gave her a fucking menu with all the prices clearly stated... die in a fire.

4. Girls who tout themselves as the "Queen of the Blow Job" (and a LOT of chicks do this). You're either a big ole' slut who's trained herself not to have a gag reflex or you're just able to get your boyfriend off and he's vocal about it. Seriously, the only REAL Queens of the Blow Job are gay men. Go to them for advice on how to perfect your hummer and not some white girl from the burbs who read too much Cosmo growing up.

5. People who still think that this country shouldn't have more gun control and openly talk about it. I guess they must not show the news inside your colon.